Pick A Life

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csnnLast year I enrolled in a 2 year, part-time, distance education program in Natural Nutrition at the Canadian School of Natural Nutrition.  I am just about to finish the first half of my studies.  (Big cheer!)  This is especially noteworthy since I spent the first six months of my enrollment in total freak-out mode, leaving home and settling in to a new country.  So, I really had to pick up the pace in the second half of the year.

My final assignment for this year is to write a business plan, which includes all sorts of self-reflection and dreaming as well as the logistical, practical, research-y stuff.  It poses some difficulty, writing a business plan when you don’t know what country you’re going to live in or whether you’ll own a home at all, let alone one with an office space, or basically anything about your life in one year’s time.  So, I essentially have to fake it.  Pick a life, pretend we’re doing that, and write the plan.  It’s just a school assignment, after all.  Although, it would sure be nice to have the assignment actually apply to real life one day, but some things are a lot to ask.

Unfortunately, I’ve noticed that picking a future life is no longer an easy emotional decision.  While I assume one day we will return to Canada, I’m at the point where there are real life things we will mourn about leaving our life in the UAE for good.  Not just theoretical, you-will-miss-things-from-here things.  Real people and real places and real realities.  Real.  I guess that’s one of the prices you pay as an expat.  No matter what decision you make next- stay put, return home, go somewhere different- there’s grieving.

But, for now, I’ll just enjoy the dreaming part.  Because the dreams are big and exciting!  What my own Holistic Nutritionist business could look like in Canada and what it could look like here are both very enticing.  And while the business plan demands a decision right now, our real life doesn’t demand one until spring.  So, I’ll finish this assignment and then, once again, I will settle into waiting and trusting God to reveal his next best steps for us.

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