I’m not someone who generally leaves things unspoken. Whether it’s something that fills me with joy or something that has been hurtful, it’s not my natural inkling to let things quietly blow over. I’d rather talk about the elephant in the room than pretend he’s not there because I have found that, more often than not, an honest conversation can cut that elephant down to size. Words are my thing. I’m a talker and a listener. So, it should come as no surprise that, as we have recently made the decision to leave our church, I cannot let this slip by without saying something. And the two somethings that I want to say, dear church family, are that this was not easy and I love you.
Leaving a church family is no small matter.
First of all, if you’ve really loved well and invested fully, this involves an actual ripping away, and it’s painful. We’ve wrestled and grieved and felt all the feelings, and I’ve spent more time crying in the last few months than I would have liked. Nothing about this decision was easy.
Secondly, we are a family of four, and factoring in all of our needs and desires and spiritual states makes staying at or leaving a church very complicated. Navigating this road as a parent has been an emotional challenge, and choosing to uproot after a couple of years of uprootedness was really the last thing we wanted to do right now.
Also, the decision to leave a church comes with a sort of stigma. After all, God commands his people to work out their grievances and to love one another in spite of all differences in order to demonstrate his love and transformative power to the world. Time and time again, I have seen God mend very broken relationships and very divided people and it is truly one of the most beautiful things about the Church. So, we’ve had to ask ourselves in the midst of our own church struggle, if God was asking us to stay and model this kind of reconciliation to a world that is so in need of it.
But, the thing is, we weren’t facing broken relationships. We weren’t needing to be reconciled to anyone in our church. Truly, I have nothing but love and tenderness in my heart toward the pastoral team, the lead team, and all the other wonderful folks we have served with and worshiped beside for years. Our decision to leave wasn’t because of anger, lack of forgiveness, or un-mended hurt. It was simply a change of direction. Our church came to a fork in the road and chose a path we personally felt we couldn’t follow. Our collective end goal is still the same. Our joint mission hasn’t changed. We all want to see the kingdom of God grow and people come to saving faith in Jesus. But the roads we take en route to that goal are not always the same.
Christians are often referred to as brothers and sisters. John 1:12 says, “Yet to all who did receive him (Jesus), to those who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God.” The men and women in my church family are my brothers and sisters in Christ. We are children of God, loved by our Father, and this will never change. But sometimes brothers and sisters see things differently. Not in an angry, divisive way, but just a difference of opinion, and that’s okay. We can all seek to bring glory to our Father and lift up the name of Jesus, wherever we worship on a Sunday morning.
So, to my Central church family, I want to say, bless you, bless you, bless you, for you have been nothing but a blessing to us for 10 years. Thank you for loving, challenging, encouraging, and nurturing us. Thank you for calling us out to serve with you and be used by God. I pray that God would continue to pour out his favor on you and that many would come to a saving faith in Christ because of your faithfulness. You still feel like home to me and I’ll miss you.
I already do.